When it comes to your wedding: What’s the point of a gift list?

We’ve are following Penelope Goldstream ‘s wedding plans by reading extracts from her wedding diary here she asks:

You think you’re finally doing what people want but they have their own agenda!

It’s been fairly quiet on the wedding front over the past few months largely due to my precise forward planning but things are starting to pick up now and decisions need to be confirmed – only 155 days until the big day!  The invites have been distributed and greatly complemented by many guests – thank you.  As standard I have included a gift list with each invite – not that we expect gifts but we are aware that guests like to wish the happy couple well and show a token of appreciation for being invited to the occasion.

For as long as I can remember I’ve asked for money gifts for birthdays and special occasions, only to be told that money is impersonal and gifts are better suited.  ‘I don’t want to give you money, I want to buy you something’  are the words that fill my ears from my Mother every year so imagine my frustration when I acted on this advice only to be told that money is now the gift of choice for a wedding!

I spent multiple hours devising my gift list, mostly during work time so really I should thank my employers for all the spare time they created for me in the evenings.  I’ve registered with Next Home so it’s not expensive and the gifts are ideal for the impending build of our new home (we’re due to move 6 weeks before our wedding – mad or what?).

The strange thing about my gift list is 40% of my confirmed guests have informed me they’re not purchasing anything from the list whatsoever as they’d prefer to give us money.  Seriously, what is the point in this?  I’ve given you an easy option, click on the next website, purchase a gift in your price range and it’s sorted – you don’t even have to view the item first but you are safe in the knowledge that I’ll love it!

These guests have even informed me they haven’t bothered looking at my ‘incredibly important, taken me three weeks of solid hard work – whilst at work’ list.  Is this rude? Should I be offended by these actions? Or am I simply taking things out of proportion?

Please don’t misunderstand me when I rant about this, I’m not in any way being ungrateful; a gift is a gift and is always well received whatever form it comes in.  For me, I would like to know that somebody has spent time choosing a gift from my ‘well prepared’ list rather than just bunging £20 in an envelope.  We want reminders of our big day all over our new house and a cushion here and a photo frame there will do just that perfectly.

Wedding politics are certainly rearing their ugly head now.  I can’t wait to hear the guest views on my choice of chicken pie as my main course meal!